Cooking is for Manly Men!

Not to worry! A new revolutionary method of cooking has been created for men like you!

If cooking eggs makes you feel like a wimpy three legged dog, try our new egg products!

Man Eggs are not just one sad little egg. Oh no, they're four genetically mutated modified eggs in one, packed with enough proteins and vitamins to turn you into the hulk. There's so much man power in them that they're on fire! Making all the sissy work of cracking a thin shell a man's work. Feel the excessive and pointless fiery burn as you cook your morning manfest!

Are you tired of wearing your old woman's silly apron? Does it make you feel like feeding your dog one of your testicles?

We know the feeling all too well.

 There's a product for that! It's called the Manpron and is one of the toughest pieces of fabric on the market today.

 The Manpron is made from 100% shark fur. That's right. Shark fur. That's 300 pounds of fire resistant material weighing you down. It's equipped with fossilized baby Tyrannosaurus rex teeth to keep your Manpron from slipping and with four louoferringnese horns, the toughest, most deadly animal defense mechanisms to ever exist! If your cooking ever gets boring( we doubt it), just blow into one of the four louoferringnese horns for a surprise!

Manprons come in three awesome manly colors of your choice! No stupid artificial coloring here. All Manprons are made with 100% natural ingredients!

Do you hate lightly sprinkling salt over your tasty dishes with a puny little spoon? You won't anymore with the Salt Mincer! This device is specially made to extract your very own bodily salt using only the manliest method! Mincing! Simply smack the hell out of your self and the Salt Mincer will do all the rest, converting your blood into a tasty spice!

Bandaids are for little girls in pig tails.

Say it with pride, you man you.