Mosquitoes Suck

I have always wondered if mosquitoes know the extent of their douchebaggery. Do they just fly around looking for the next person to irritate? Or do they sincerely only want to calm their hunger?

Don't be fooled by the whole "Oh I'm sorry, I just need some yum yums in mah belly." Mosquitoes have infrared heat sensors. They know where you are. There are no mosquito bumping into flesh accidents.

And you never know when there's a mosquito around until you've been bitten. Then they're 100% visible to the naked eye and can be heard buzzing in surround sound. Could you imagine how weird/horrible/annoying life would be if people were like mosquitoes?

Awkward...

 I freakin' hate mosquitoes. Just a 1 second suck leaves my face looking like this:

I'm highly allergic.

And they're so ugly. Up close anyway.

Can you believe there are still people who don't want to completely destroy mosquitoes, even though they account for nearly one million deaths a year? "Oh blah,blah the birds will die." No, the birds will find something else to eat, hippies. I'm all for saving the animals, but I freakin' HATE mosquitoes. Would much rather have alligators in my backyard.

I can keep on and on and on about mosquitoes. But instead, let me give you a small(ish) list of things most people don't know about mosquitoes.

1. Only females suck blood, because they need the protein. Right there, that's another species on earth that's giving all the other females a bad name.
2. Millions of years ago, mosquitoes were three times the size we know them to be today. Who knows, they might swell up again.
3. Mosquitoes transmit some of the deadliest diseases, like dengue, yellow fever, west nile virus, and malaria.
4. Mosquitoes can't get HIV. The virus dies in their intestines. Lucky, huh?
5. They suck blood up until they get a signal to stop sucking. In laboratories, the removal of this signal makes them suck up blood until they explode. Greedy bastards.
6. It's easy to not give a damn about mosquitoes exploding.
7. Females mosquitoes live longer then males with a lifespan of 3-100 days versus 10-20 days. 
8. Either one lives long enough to make my head look like a giant blueberry.
9. When they bite you, mosquitoes release chemicals to reduce clotting and pain, but significantly increase irritation. Kind of like a blind date. 
10. There is almost no location in the world to escape the wrath of the mosquito. They even exist in the arctic and have been found 8,000 feet up the Himalayas...
11. They smell you from nearly 300 feet away.
12. Mosquitoes can fly at a speed at 1.5 miles and hour. Not intimidating until you're stuck in a room with them. Or on a treadmill.

There you have it! Things you knew and did not know about the world's most annoying little beast.